The Big Merger
Ivette Manners
Your wedding was everything you’ve ever dreamed of, the reception was a blast, and your honeymoon was a total trip. Now you and your new husband can finally move in together. How exciting! But what do you do with all your stuff? Chances are you and your fiancé have each accumulated loads of possessions prior to your new life together, which you’ll bring into the marriage. Now that you’ll share a common space, you’ll need to find a way to incorporate both of your decorating styles, needs, and tastes. Together, you’ll have to think about what you’ll keep, what you’ll get rid of, and what you’ll need to buy. With a little organization, some compromise, and lots of love you and your hubby can create a new home that will reflect harmony – not only in the décor, but also in your relationship.
“When new couples are setting up their homes together, I advise them to speak up or forever hold their peace,” says Jill Cordes, host of HGTV’s My First Place. “A new husband shouldn’t say okay to anything if he really isn’t into it.” For example, if he doesn’t want antique furniture in the bedroom, he shouldn’t agree just to avoid an argument or assume that the room’s décor will grow on him. A couple should be considerate of each other’s wants and needs, but each partner should be allowed to voice his or her opinion. After all, you’re both sharing the same living space now, so you both should feel comfortable in the room you’re in – especially the bedroom.
The first thing you should do even before you move in is get rid of all the items you don’t really want, suggests Cordes. “Chances are they will stay there if you move it in.” Once you’re all moved in get a feel of the place. The biggest mistake many people make is think they have to paint first. “Hold off on painting right away,” says Cordes. “Gather ideas and get comfortable with your new space before you commit to wall colors.” Take time to look through magazines and books, search online, and watch decorating shows for ideas. You’ll generally have a notion of what you want your home to look like from the start. Once you’ve gathered photos and examples share them with your husband and have him do the same. This helps you both know what you each like before you start decorating or shopping.
When you’re ready to start on the painting or other decorating projects in your home, don’t feel you need to do it alone. “Pizza and beer goes a long way to bribe your friends into helping out,” says Cordes. When you’re not recruiting friends and family, you and your husband should split the work. “Take turns on different rooms and projects,” advises Cordes. “And don’t interfere with one another’s project unless you’re asked for help.” Trust that your husband knows what he is doing and will do a good job. Remember, anything he does can always be undone, so don’t be afraid of his experimenting.
After major projects like painting, putting up new walls, and carpeting are done, you can concentrate on where your current furniture and decorative pieces will go and what you’ll want to buy. Don’t spend money on trendy items for your home in the beginning, advises Carey Evans, a designer for HGTV’s My First Place. Head to discount stores for that funky, fringed pillow you saw in a magazine, for instance. There are a lot of imitations out there, so there is no need to go to a high-end store and spend a lot of money on things that will be out of style soon. Instead, invest your money in key pieces like furniture you’ll have for a long time and can play up with other items in the room, such as pictures, tables, and rugs.
“When you make a big purchase, like a sofa, buy it in a neutral style and color,” says Evans. “Major pieces of furniture should give you the flexibility to change the look of the room using wall color, fabrics, lighting, etc. And when choosing stylish furniture, don’t compromise comfort or practicality. Nowadays, you can find items that combine both.
One important thing to keep in mind while shopping together is that you may have to negotiate and work at each other’s pace. For example, if one of you likes modern furnishings and the other is more traditional, look for contemporary pieces with elements of old world design.
Once you bring it all home, the real work begins. Work as a team when decorating major rooms like the bedroom and bathroom. You’ll want to combine both of your likes and needs in these common places. There are great ways to decorate the bedroom, which are based on your practical needs. If you don’t want a television in the bedroom because you want to create a romantic ambiance without having to compete with the football game every Monday night, purchase a beautiful cabinet with doors where you can hide that wide screen TV in. For the bathroom, get chic covered baskets where your husband can toss all of his dirty socks or shaving essentials in and not have it lying around where you can see it. You may have to buy a few big pieces of furniture like the cabinet or an armoire to solve the never-ending closet war. The other solution is for each of you to get rid of unnecessary clothing and accessories you haven’t worn in years. And if you simply can’t live without all of your pairs of shoes or love to shop, get big storage boxes to keep those items under the bed.
Being respectful of each other’s professions and sleep schedules is another way to help you merge your styles and needs. If one partner works from home, give him the space to create a nice office. If you have different work schedules, and one of you goes to work much earlier than the other, or if one works at night and the other during the day, consider dressing your windows with blackout blinds. These stylish blinds allow you to sleep during the day and still have a beautiful room.
Don’t think that you have to stick to one particular style for a room. Remember opposites attract, so if he likes sleek leather furniture and you like soft textures like crushed velvet, mix and match the two. Velvet pillows would look great on a rich chocolate brown leather couch, especially in soft colors to offer a strong color contrast. Mixing and matching an old farmhouse dining table with modern style chairs gives a dining room an eclectic look.
When it comes to your beloved’s little treasures and collectibles, allow him to display it in his own area. You don’t want to insult him by insisting that he store it in the garage or closet. His collection of beer mugs can easily be displayed in a cup rack in the kitchen. This way he’ll have no excuse to allow you to keep your record collection in the living room neatly put away in a stylish storage box next to the CDs.
Just like your wedding, your new home together should reflect both of your personalities and make you happy for years to come.
Tips for a Home Sweet Home
When you’re moving in, it’s a good idea to check out the inexpensive movers you found with the Better Business Bureau. “Sometimes things are cheap for a reason,” says Cordes. “It’s better to pay a little more the first time around than having to pay twice.”
Invest in paints that are low in chemicals and odor, especially if you have allergies. These days you can find quality interior paints, like EcoSpec paint by Benjamin Moore, which come in an array of great hues and are low in harmful toxins.
Refinish and repaint. You don’t have to buy all new furniture for your new home. If you have a good piece of furniture that you love, you can sand it down and repaint it, so it’ll go with the rest of your décor.
You can easily make your bedroom a romantic retreat by adding simple touches like lush sheets and a few sweet photos of the two of you (keep photographs of family and friends in the living room).