Step It Up
Charlotte Sanders
You’ve found the perfect place for your wedding…Now you’re ready to take the next step…probably the most important decision you will make (after saying “Yes” when he proposed!) It’s time to select a band.
Wedding professionals may not agree on everything, but most will agree that music sets the tone of the wedding more than any other single choice you will make. Most brides and grooms look forward to choosing the band…music is the one area about which they feel they are experts. But once you begin your quest for the perfect band, you’ll find it’s not quite that simple. Listening to your favorite CDs doesn’t turn out to be the guide that you thought it would be. Music for your wedding is an entirely different dimension.
Welcome to the World of Wedding Music
Some brides and grooms have a very definite idea of the style of wedding they want. They choose a riverboat, or a turn-of-the-century mansion. The bride is going to wear a bias-cut satin gown, a white camellia in her hair, and she and the groom will do a well-rehearsed waltz as their first dance. They’re looking for a band that can play great jazz and swing and a variety of ballroom styles (they have been taking ballroom dancing lessons). But then the groom adds that he used to play drums and all his musician friends will be ready to rock ‘n roll. Is there a band that can make everybody happy? Of course. The couple found the band of their dreams…did plenty of Motown, R & B, Rock as well as the Tango. They left the wedding in a horse-drawn carriage. Everyone threw rice.
Some brides and grooms know what they don’t want…No “Macarena!” No “Electric Slide!” No “Celebration!” They want classical music for the wedding ceremony; jazz for cocktails. As for the party, they want a mix of love songs, rock, swing, reggae and disco that will keep everyone on the dance floor ‘til the very last dance. Did their dreams come true? Of course. They found a great band to play a mix of all their favorites. Even the groom’s mother loved the music. People are still raving about the wedding, (and no one went home with a sore throat!).
How to Find the Perfect Band
The best way to find that perfect band is to be a guest at a wedding and absolutely adore the music. The odds on this happening are up there with buying the first wedding dress you try on. This wondrous occurrence does happen occasionally, and if it does, you’ll have saved yourself lots of time and energy. First, make sure that this band is available for your date…not “another of our bands,” as bands are not interchangeable. If the band is available, and the price is within your budget, hire them immediately.
For most couples starting out to find that perfect band, a recommendation from family, friends or wedding professionals who are familiar with the bands in your area is often the place to start. Wedding magazines and the Internet also serve as a source of a great deal of information. A telephone or e-mail inquiry can usually result in learning quite a lot about a band. Find out if you’re dealing directly with the band leader or with a music agency which provides many bands. Your comfort level at this point is your guide. Most bands will be happy to send you a demo CD or tape, along with some background information. If the music company represents more than one band, make sure you know to which band you are listening.
Communication, Communication, Communication!
Most bands will invite you to their office or studio for a face-to-face meeting. You may be able to hear more music samples, look at a video, or see photos & letters from satisfied clients. It’s important to meet directly with the band leader who will be at your party, so that you can get a feel for the style and personality of the person who will be a very important part of your wedding day. It’s equally important for the band leader to confer with you about the type of wedding you are planning and the kind of music you think your guests will enjoy. …
...and More Communication!
The magic word is “communication.” When speaking with your band leader, tell him/her what your likes and dislikes are. Your band leader will welcome your list of favorites. Don’t make a list of a hundred requests…just a few that are really important. A professional band should be happy to learn your special song for you, if it isn’t already in the repertoire. A “Do Not Play” list is often more important than specific requests, as most professional musicians are skilled at judging the musical taste of a particular crowd. Remember, you’re trusting your band to pull together two families (sometimes more). When blended families are involved, always fill the band leader in on “who’s who” to avoid awkward moments.
Enough is Enough!
Now comes the hardest part! Unless you want endless “band shopping” to drive you crazy, narrow down the bands with whom you are interested in meeting to no more than five…three is even better. This is the famous “Rule of Three”! Just like trying on perfume…it’s very difficult to keep things straight after the third one.
How Do I Know I’ve Found the Right Band?
You found the right guy, didn’t you? You’ll know it’s the right band when you love the music and you feel sure that your band leader will pull the entire wedding together with his/her professionalism. Trust your instincts.