Reception Perfection
Sandra Mardenfeld
Decisions, decisions, decisions...
Choreographing your wedding day can seem challenging at first. You need to pick a date, a place, a menu—there are countless choices to make. But don’t let the pressure get to you. Planning your wedding day is simply a matter of considering all your options and picking the ones that work best for you.
First off, pick your wedding date. This can be an easy assignment since sometimes couples have no choice at all. If you want to wed at the church where you or your groom were baptized in, for instance, and their only availability is June 3rd—that’s going to be your wedding day. If you’re opting for a Jewish ceremony, the Sabbath starts on Friday evening and ends at sundown on Saturday, so you’ll wed either Saturday night or Sunday. But, if you have some flexibility then you can consider holding the ceremony at the reception site. Keep in mind that the months of November, January, and February are slower months for catering/reception facilities, so prices drop (except for events around New Year’s and Valentine’s Day). Saturday evenings are the most expensive. If budget is a concern, a January wedding on a Friday evening might not break your bank.
Next, think about the type of affair you want—formal, semi-formal, or informal— and the amount of guests. Consider how big your families are, what friends you want to invite, and who needs to be invited with a guest—you don’t want to hurt any feelings, but remember that ultimately your wedding day belongs to you. If your heart is set on a small affair, you may want to express your feelings to both sets of parents to make sure the guest list is kept to a minimum. In general, a wedding with more than 200 guests is considered a formal affair, 75-200 semi-formal, and less than 75 informal. Your number of guests helps you in selecting your site. Be sure the venue can comfortably accommodate the number of guests you want to invite.
Usually, the most common sites are reception halls, restaurants, and hotels, but if you’re looking for something a bit more original, take a look around your local area. Historic homes, national parks, botanical gardens, and other public sites are often available for wedding parties, with fees running anywhere from a few hundred dollars to thousands. You can even find yachts, old steamships—really the sky is the limit. Find these facilities looking through this issue of Long Island Weddingpages and checking out their online virtual tours. Don’t forget to use your networks. If a friend or relative attended a fabulous wedding, you may want to visit that venue and see if it’s the place you would want to hold your wedding.
The most hassle-free reception is usually one that provides everything, from soup to nuts—that means food, linens, china, and the works. These services are usually found in traditional wedding reception sites such as halls, hotels, and estaurants. For some of the more original options like gardens and historic homes, you’ll probably need to hire a separate caterer along with renting the facility, which is fine—it’s just two steps rather than one. However, don’t let what’s easiest effect your decision. You want a site that reflects both of your personalities, as well as suits your space needs. Sometimes that takes time to find. But, you’ll know when you find that special place, just as a bride knows her wedding dress the moment she first puts it on. You’ll feel comfortable there. You’ll like how the staff treats you during the tour. Remember that if you’re not cordially greeted and serviced quickly before you sign the contract, there is little chance you’ll be treated well afterward. So don’t just look at a space’s décor, consider how the host talks to you, how long the wait is, and how helpful people were on the phone. Pay attention when touring the site—does everything look updated? Are the bathrooms clean? Look for things that are important to you. Some facilities only hold functions indoors. Others have gardens where you can have a cocktail hour before moving inside for dinner. Some places are by the water,and you can enjoy the cocktail hour on a dock. All of these venues provide nice settings for weddings. However, if you have allergies and you’re getting married in the spring, an indoor reception could suit you better. So really consider what’s important to you and what makes you comfortable. There is a setting for every type of person. You can find yours, but it might be a process of elimination.
Often, reception facilities hold tastings, so you can determine if you like their menu. Before scheduling a sampling session, ask if there is a fee and how many people you can bring. You want to choose something your family likes too, so if your mother is a picky eater, you might want to bring her along rather than hearing her complaints on your wedding day.
The time of your reception dictates the type of meal served more than the formality of the affair. Some informal weddings feature an elaborate sit-down meal, for instance. In general, receptions before 11 a.m. serve breakfast, from 11 a.m.-1 p.m. it’s typically brunch time. Lunch is from noon to 2 p.m. Tea from 2 p.m. to 5 p.m. Cocktails from 4-7:30 p.m. and dinner anytime afterward.
As you can see, there are all types of different meal styles for you to consider. Breakfast receptions serve just that. Brunches are a bit more flexible—offering typical breakfast and lunch entrees, with omelet stations sitting next to carving roasts. Tea is usually lunch items such as salads and sandwiches, along with pastries and cakes. Cocktails can be simple, such as cheese, fruit, and hot appetizers, or can be more sophisticated featuring meats, pastas, and salads. How you serve the meal is another choice you need to make—will it be buffet style where your guests serve themselves?
This is usually good for more casual meals. You can also have a sit-down service where waiters bring the food course by course. A variation of this, French service, is for formal events. With this, guests come to their seats finding plates already containing appetizer-like foods. As the meal progresses, servers wheel carts to each table and place each course on the guests’ plates individually. More common (and less expensive) is plate service where the server brings out a prepared dish for each guest. Many times, you can opt for several types of styles within one wedding. You might want to have your cocktail hour be a buffet, followed by a sit-down dinner.
When hiring your reception facility, the contract does not contain everything mentioned to you during the presentation, be sure those elements are added. If you are purchasing a certain package, the exact parameters of it should be detailed in the contract, not just the name of the package. Ask if your reception hall is covered by insurance in case a guest breaks china or crystal—these are expenses you don’t want to absorb. Also, find out about deadlines for head counts. If a family emergency happens and six cousins don’t come, will you still have to pay for their plates? Find out specifics about their cancellation policy—you never know what can happen and it’s better to be prepared than sorry. You’ll also want to know if tax and gratuities are included, and, if not, what is usually given? There can be quite a few invisible costs when you’re holding a reception, so don’t get caught with an unexpected bill. Sometimes the champagne toasting service is not included or there’s an extra charge for bartenders, for instance. All these kinks should be worked out during your contract negotiations.
Ultimately, you’re looking for a place that makes you feel special. So take the time to find the right venue. Make sure you visit several facilities and try not to see more than three a day. After the fourth or fifth location, you start to lose track of the details. Collect brochures, go to tastings, and write down the positive and negative aspects of everything you see. Then after you make your decision, go back and double check that it’s the right one.
Once you’ve selected the perfect place for your reception, you’ll feel like your dream wedding is finally becoming a reality.