Planned Pleasures
Nancy Almasi
Your wedding may be the highlight of someone’s year. The guests may travel long distances or inconvenience themselves to attend. They may spend large sums of money for transportation and lodging, not to mention a wedding gift. Say “thank you,” and make their sacrifices worthwhile and effortless.
Gestures you can make to your guests upon their arrival include:
• A welcome basket, filled with snacks or flowers, in their rooms.
• A folder filled with Long Island maps, brochures and a copy of the local paper with suggestions of things to see and do.
• If a guest wants to do something special, offer to make arrangements. Get them tickets for that special concert or sporting event. Make lunch or dinner reservations at that special restaurant. Your guests will appreciate the effort you make during this hectic time.
The most important thing is to make each guest feel you’re truly glad to have them at your wedding and to leave everyone with pleasant memories of this happy occasion. Traditional wedding events include showers, the bridesmaids’ luncheon and the rehearsal dinner. Yet, like many couples, you can give these traditional parties a creative twist. While pre- and post-nuptial brunches and daytime outings to ballparks, spas or museums are also popular.
Showers
Traditionally, showers are held to help the bride establish a new home. Usually your bridesmaid or close friend will host the shower in someone’s home or at a restaurant. Showers can focus on specific items such as kitchen equipment or linens, but possible themes are limitless. The friends of one bride’s mother threw the daughter a holiday shower. Guests were asked to bring holiday decorations such as Christmas ornaments or Halloween jack-o’-lanterns. Another current trend is for a coed or “couples shower,” for which couples are asked to bring bar, grill or gardening items. This is a great way for you to include your fiancé and other male friends who might feel left out.
Bridesmaids’ Luncheon
Either you or a close relative can hold the bridesmaids’ luncheon a week or two before the wedding. This is a great way for you and your family to thank your attendants for their encouragement and support. Settings can include cozy tearooms, chic restaurants or private homes. “Anything goes with this occasion,” Corrine Crocker-Luby of Corrine’s Bridal Consultants said. The bridesmaids’ luncheon is also a great opportunity for a special aunt, godmother or friend to honor you in a special way. “Everyone is happy and everyone wants to do something,” Crocker-Luby said, “This is a celebration of what’s to come.”
Rehearsal Dinner
Traditionally, the groom and his family host the rehearsal dinner to welcome the wedding party and out-of-town guests. Although it once was held the evening before the ceremony, the rehearsal dinner now is scheduled as far as two weeks before the wedding. Whenever it’s held, the event gives the wedding party and guests a chance to mingle. This is a particularly friendly gesture to those who traveled great distances and might not know many people. The dinner can range from an elaborate, six-course meal at a trendy restaurant to a simple cookout. But Crocker-Luby is careful to advise her clients to make sure the rehearsal dinner doesn’t upstage the main event. “The rehearsal dinner sets the mood for what’s to come,” she said. “You don’t need to go crazy over the guest list. You can get really creative with the menu and the invitations. The key is for guests to relax.”
Breakfasts & Brunches
“This has become a standard event in weddings,” Crocker-Luby said of wedding brunches. “Lots of couples will have it in the hotel where everyone is staying or at least somewhere nearby.” Couples should strive for a casual, relaxed atmosphere where guests can mingle before or after the ceremony. Invitations for this event can be inserted with the wedding invitation, mailed separately or left in the individual hotel rooms.
Activities & Events
In addition to the standard entertainment, look for fun-filled and creative ways to show your guests a good time. If you live in a popular tourist area or have fun things to see and do in your hometown, it’s a good way to welcome guests. For weddings held elsewhere, Betsy Hansen, catering manager of the Claremont Hotel in Seattle, advises couples to place their trust in the professional staff at the hotel where guests are staying. “Most hotels are very helpful in arranging tours,” she said. “Besides, bridal couples have enough to do at this time. They don’t need the additional stress.” Planning fun things to do is a job that could be delegated to the best man, maid of honor or other trusted friend or relative. Other resources for arranging tours and excursions include a local chamber of commerce or tourism bureau.