Here comes the dress
Linda Yellin
This is it. The big one. The dress of all dresses. The one you’ve dreamt about since your Barbie doll days. And what with getting only one (okay, maybe two) shots in your entire life to do it right, well - it’s enough to make any gal shake in her white satin pumps.
Pia Mollbeck-Verbic, 31, who purchased her dress in New York for her wedding in Copenhagen, sums up the emotional drama of choosing a gown: “Your wedding dress essentially identifies who you are – or who you’d like to be. So both your identity and dreams are on display. “She continues, “My dress was made of hand-dye silk and velvet with hand-painted flowers on it. No beads. No bows.”
Katey Six, New York, 26, married in October 2002, can remember her parents waking her up at five in the morning “to watch Charles and Di get married and thinking that Diana was the perfect bride,” she says. “But when I first started trying on wedding dresses, I felt out of place. I am so not a fashion plate.” She walked down the aisle in a satin diamond white gown.
Married in Glenview, Illinois last June, Adina Renee Adler, 25, knew exactly what she wanted: “An A-line dress with no horizontal seams to accentuate my hips; a removable all-in-one veil and train; a soft cotton fabric; and most importantly - I wanted to wear an everyday bra!”
New York lawyer Lara J. Glasgow, 26, says choosing her dress for her September 2002 wedding was a matter of “destiny.” It was blush color, A-line, designed with beaded roses along the waist. She found it at the first and only salon she visited. “It was love at first sight,” she says. “Just like with my husband.”
October bride Daniella Tineo, New York, fell in love with her designer at first sight. “I’m originally from Venezuela,” says the 28-year-old, “and always dreamt of wearing an Angel Sanchez gown. When I got engaged I spotted this tiny picture in a magazine of a beautiful dress with edges cut in waves.” Daniella knew it was her dress. “I called the magazine to find out the designer, and of course, it was Angel Sanchez.”
Thirty-year-old Elizabeth Castro of Chicago was not quite as designer specific. “While walking through a department store, my mother spotted a long, white, sleeveless, satin gown with four roses on the back and a fitted bodice. It was perfect,” she says beaming. “I always say, that if you liked my dress, you can find it at Lord and Taylor’s during prom season.” But often a bride starts out wanting one thing, and ends up with something else entirely different. (This theory can also apply to grooms, but we’ll save that subject for another time.)
New Yorker Kelley Doyle, 28, married in November 2002, was shopping with “an entire posse of Doyles in tow” – when one of her sisters “pulled out this gorgeous, A-line, ivory gown. But it was strapless. As a petite woman with a substantial cup size, I refused to consider anything strapless.” But Kelley tried on the dress, and based on the reactions of six beaming Doyles, ended up a strapless bride.
Before thirty-year-old Vanessa Harmatz’s Vermont wedding two years ago, her fiancee “tried on tails just for fun and looked awesome. After that,” she says, “my goal was to find something that made me feel elegant enough to stand next to a 6'3" guy in tails.” It was a white silk tank with an empire waist with pearl and crystal beading on the bodice. Sometimes it’s an accompanying sister who helps cast the deciding vote.
November 2002 bride Micky Aaronson of Chicago says that “after looking through a room full of dresses so tightly packed it took real muscle to view them,” she brought a dozen into the fitting room. “When I got down to trying the last one, my sister cried: ‘That’s it! That’s your dress!’” She felt that in all the other dresses she looked like she was playing dress up. But now she looked like a bride.
For Lori Keough, 29, of Chicago, her sister’s presence resulted in a different type of influence. “I stood in a fitting room debating between two dresses. Then my sister tried on one of them. That was enough for me. I chose the other one. I didn’t want to wear a dress that my sister tried on.” And in their own fatherly ways, dads may also take part in the process.
Then-22-year-old bride Dianne Calenzo of Long Island arrived for her final fitting only to discover an “out of business” sign, no owners, and no dress. “Sympathetic salespeople opened the doors to dozens of hysterical brides-to-be running around crying,” Dianne recalls. “Try on anything! See what fits!,” they were saying. Dianne did find a sample dress “but I wanted my dress to be new.” Dianne’s father suggested that with the wedding only weeks away the dress had to exist somewhere. With a little detective work, they tracked the dress to a factory in Manhattan. She continues, “But it wasn’t finished! We left with my dress and a bag filled with appliqués which still needed to be sewn on.” One neighborhood seamstress and plenty of additional beading later, Dianne ended up with a dress she loved.
Carolyn Bergen Baba, 31 of Chicago, married in November 2000, called upon her dad’s help after she put down a fifty percent deposit at a salon with a no-return policy. “The minute I got home I regretted it,” Carolyn says. After a long weekend of “major bridal angst,” she recruited her dad to call the salon and get her money back. “I ended up at another salon, buying another dress, and paying three times as much - but breathlessly happy about it.” She traded in a very plain A-line for a gown with superior detailing: made of double-faced silk satin, it was accented with hand-sewn sequins and platinum beading.
For a lot of brides, sticking to a budget has a way of quickly becoming a low priority. Lyzeth Cuellar, 28, married in Montclair, New Jersey in September 2002, says that “even though my dress cost a thousand dollars more than I planned, it didn’t matter because it was The Dress.”
After going through piles of wedding magazines, Stacey Gottlieb, 31, planning her July wedding in New Jersey, says she “narrowed the pictures down to six favorites, including one Christos dress that I adored. When I went to the salon, the consultant promptly informed me that the Christos dress was twice my budget. But I decided to try it on just to see what an expensive dress felt like. Well, I put it on and knew: this was the one!” Stacey took on an extra patient at her psychology practice to help pay for her dress. When the dress is perfect, but the situation isn’t, what’s a bride to do?
Forty-year-old Lisa Kleckner Ansis, Los Angeles, says that “having been single for so long, I had to adjust to the idea that I was really getting married. Most of the dresses I first tried on were big, puffy things. Not appropriate for a 5'2" bride of a certain age. And all the silky, form-fitting dresses required industrial pantyhose and stiletto heels. I finally went to this very hip boutique which specialized in unusual, fantasy-like designs. As soon as I walked in I knew I was in the right place. But just like finding my husband, I had to kiss a lot of frogs to get there.”
But 28-year-old Betsy Cadel of Hartsdale, New York, married five years, may own the last word on loving a dress. “I did the whole dress thing,” she says, “flipping through countless magazines, traipsing from Bergdorff’s to Saks to Yumi Katsura. Finally, I ended up at a bridal shop where I fell in love with a fairy princess number, put down a deposit, and was ready to roll. Except for the fact that I broke off the engagement. So I kept calling the shop to stall the delivery date. In fact, I stalled it until I found somebody else to be the groom. “One and a half years after picking it out, Betsy walked down the aisle in her dream dress. “Hey, men may come and go,” she says, “but a great dress is forever.”