Full-time employee/part-time bride
Kelly James Enger
Without a doubt, you’re the happiest woman on earth—you’re marrying the man of your dreams. The two of you have set the date and your head is swimming with all that has to be done: hire a caterer, choose a photographer, and even buy a dress!
All you can think about is the wedding. But if you’re like many brides, you still have to work! How can you plan your wedding and still function at the office? Follow these tips to ensure that your career doesn’t suffer in the meantime:
HOT TIP #1: Don’t make your wedding plans at work. It may be tempting, especially if you have access to a telephone all day. One phone call here, another there…who’s going to notice? Even if your boss doesn’t notice, your co-workers will. Don’t think your pre-wedding preoccupation is going unnoticed. People see plenty and don’t necessarily say anything – at least to you. However, your lunch hour may be the perfect time to run errands or make phone calls. Have lunch at your desk so you can use the time for planning and making lists.
HOT TIP #2: Don’t chatter endlessly about your wedding at work. It’s OK to talk about it with your office buddies if you’re on a break or eating lunch—especially when you’re not "on the clock". Even at these times, though, don’t feel that you have to tell every person every detail. Sadly, not everyone at your office cares about the flower selection in your bridal bouquet. Be especially tactful if you work with someone who may be hurt by your excitement and plans—someone who’s going through a divorce, for example.
HOT TIP #3: Don’t take a sick day to make wedding arrangements when you’re not sick. One Long Island bride-to-be called in sick with the flu several weeks before her wedding. When her boss called her that afternoon to ask if she’d be able to come in the next day, her sister told him, “Oh, Tina’s not home. She’s having her wedding dress fitted today.” She almost lost her job over this little white lie.
HOT TIP #4: Let your boss know well in advance about your wedding plans and the vacation time you’ll need. Obviously it’s better to ask months ahead for the days you want off. If you’re getting married on a Saturday, consider taking vacation or personal days on the Friday (and maybe even the Thursday) before your wedding so that you have plenty of time to get things done.
HOT TIP #5: Don’t let the quality of your work slide. Even if you’ve been there for years, you still are expected to “be there”, physically and mentally, every day. Make a special effort to concentrate on the task at hand, and try not to dwell on everything that hasn’t been done yet. This will only make it worse.
HOT TIP #6: If you must make personal telephone calls from work, come in early or stay late. Michelle, a 24-year-old bride, worked from 8:45 a.m. until 4:30 p.m. Many afternoons, she stayed at her desk after hours to make necessary calls to her caterer, florist, etc. If she had to leave a message, she left her home number. To be even more boss-sensitive, she limited her calls to local ones.
HOT TIP #7: Consider hiring a wedding consultant (see article on page 374) or asking a friend or family member to assist you. Cindy, a 25-year-old bride, used a wedding planner to investigate which local vendors were available for her wedding date. Then she reported back to Cindy on the availability and cost of each. This one step saved Cindy lots of time and leg work.
HOT TIP #8: Don’t lose your cool at work! OK, so you picked up your invitations at lunch and your fiancé’s name is spelled wrong. Don’t have a fit about it at the office or carry the box from desk to desk griping about the printer. Take care of the problem after office hours and don’t take out your anger or frustration on the people with whom you work. (This is good advice anytime, but with the stress you’ll be under it’s especially important now.)
HOT TIP #9: Don’t alienate your co-workers —especially if you’re not inviting everyone at work. Obviously in a large office, this may be impossible. But it should be obvious that if you work in an eight-person department, you should invite all seven of your colleagues—or none at all. And make sure you invite your boss, regardless of whether you plan to soon leave your job. If you have an assistant or secretary, he or she should be invited as well. Finally, if you are inviting only few people from your office, you might mention this to those guests so that there’s less chance that someone’s feelings will be hurt.
HOT TIP #10: Although you are soon going to be a bride, to your boss you’re still an employee who just happens to be getting married. There’s nothing wrong with letting your excitement and happiness show at work. Just remember, you want your job waiting for you after your honeymoon!