What's in a Name? - Changing your name (or not)
Amy E. Lemen
You’ve survived the wedding, meddling relatives, friends who had a bit too much to drink at the reception, and a honeymoon that was so great you didn’t want to come home. Congratulations – you’re married!
Now it’s on to the business of married life, and one of the first things most women consider is whether or not to take her new husband’s last name. It’s perhaps one of the most personal decisions a woman can make – aside from saying; “I do” to your beloved.
For many women, changing their name is often related to where they are in their careers.
Many brides choose to keep their maiden name for professional reasons. Often, if they're established in their industry, have long-term working relationships with the media or if their name is part of their personal brand, they want to maintain their identity in order to ensure consistency and name recognition in their chosen field.
Whether or not career is an issue for you, the good news is that there are lots of alternatives available for those facing this important decision. The rest is up to you.
Alternative #1: Taking Your Husband's Name
Many women just feel more comfortable taking their husband’s name. Enough said. Those starting out early in a career make the decision that, if they’re not well established with their career goals, what’s the harm? Consider whether your career might be affected by such a change, and then make your decision. For example, I wasn’t established as a writer until a few years after I got married – otherwise, I would have kept my name. How do you make the transition smoothly with colleagues? A simple email will suffice, along with a new signature line that reflects the change.
Alternative #2: Keeping Your Own Name
Many women also decide to keep their own name, especially those who are well positioned in successful careers, or who are in professions where a name change would make a significant difference (broadcast journalism, high-ranking positions in companies and similar situations come to mind). Still others decide to keep their own name professionally, but use their spouse’s name everywhere else. Of course, there’s always the risk of identity issues and “being two people,” so this one is definitely something to carefully consider. Others keep their maiden names out of respect, to honor a parent who has passed away, for example.
Alternative #3: Hyphenating
Some women choose to hyphenate – but a fair amount of men are taking that route, too. There’s a well-known writer in Dallas who chose to hyphenate, using his wife’s name. Another friend’s husband never liked his last name, so he adopted his wife’s name as his own. Now that takes guts – but why should the onus be on the woman to change? Men, you can do it, too! Or, you can come up with some creative combination that showcases both your last names – it’s entirely up to you and what feels right.
Alternative #4: Add Your Beloved’s Name to Your Own
This is an even more popular alternative, especially in an age of two-career couples. You can still keep your identity, honor your family, and take your husband’s name – all in one shot.
Making it Legal
All these options are as simple as going to the local courthouse and filing a form to change your name – that’s the next hurdle. You’ll need a new driver’s license, passport, and social security card.
You may also need to get new checks, credit cards, and have insurance, vehicle registration, and various bills and utilities changed to your married name. You’ll also want to consider other legal documents – like a will or power of attorney – that will need to reflect your new name.
Driver’s License: You’ll need documented proof, like your marriage license, to make the change.
Social Security Card: For this change, you'll need two pieces of identification – one with your old name and one with your new name. Get the driver’s license changed first, and then bring that and your marriage license – not your old social security card – or a military ID card when you make the change.
Passport: You’ll need to fill out a form DS-19 (Passport Amendment/ Validation Application), and submit it along with a certified copy of your marriage certificate and your current valid passport. Do it now, and the next time you take that exotic vacation with your new hubby, you’ll be ready to go!